I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue.
From Series 01 to Series 56 (Current)
I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue developed from the long running radio sketch show I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again. The writers of the earlier show — John Cleese, Jo Kendall, David Hatch, Bill Oddie, Tim Brooke-Taylor and especially Graeme Garden — found that writing a radio series as a lot of work for little reward, so Graeme Garden suggested the idea of an unscripted show. It was decided that this would take the form of a parody panel game, with Garden, Brooke-Taylor, Oddie and Kendall as the panellists, with occasional appearances by others. Humphrey Lyttelton, previously well known as a jazz trumpeter and band leader, was invited to become the host because the others felt the role played by improvisation would make the new show the comedy equivalent of jazz. Humphrey Lyttelton continued as chairman up until his death on 25th April 2008.
The pilot episode opened with Graeme Garden and Jo Kendall singing the words of "Three Blind Mice" to the tune of "Ol' Man River" followed by Bill Oddie and Tim Brooke-Taylor singing the lyrics of "Sing a Song of Sixpence" to the tune of "These Foolish Things". Dave Lee was at the piano and a number of rounds were introduced by a short phrase of music. Other rounds featured included "dialogue read in a specific accent" and "songs sung as animals".
Some early episodes of the series, including the first episode, were wiped in the late 1970s. Following the BBC's Treasure Hunt appeal for missing material in 2002, several episodes were recovered from off-air recordings made by listeners.
In the first series Lyttelton alternated in the role of chairman with Barry Cryer, but from the second series he took the position full time, with Cryer replacing Jo Kendall on the panel. In 1974 Bill Oddie was replaced by Willie Rushton, and the lineup remained fairly stable from this point until Rushton's death in 1996. Since then the fourth seat on the panel has not been filled permanently, but instead has featured a variety of comedians.Over this time the show has built up a large and devoted following, with over 2 million listeners on Radio 4, and its recording sessions typically fill out 1500-seat theatres within a week: at least one recording for the spring 2006 series filled all its seats within three hours of the free tickets being made available, and the London recording of the autumn series in that year sold out in ten minutes. Although there are twelve Clue shows broadcast per year (six each in the spring and autumn), these are the result of just six recording sessions, with two programmes being recorded back-to-back. The show was recently voted the second funniest radio programme ever, behind The Goon Show. It also has a large following among professional comedians such as Armando Iannucci, who turned down opportunities to work on it, preferring to remain a listener. Jack Dee, on the special I'm Sorry I Haven't a Desert Island, explained that he did not want to appear on Clue as he felt his voice would spoil it, but since then he has in fact appeared as a panellist.
Participants: Chairman Humphrey Lyttelton, geneally referred to as "Humph", was chairman of the show from its first episode in 1972 (although in the first series he shared presenting duties with Barry Cryer) until his death on 2008-04-25. He read the script introducing the programme and segments in an utterly deadpan manner. He claimed the secret was just to read what was in front of him without understanding why it was funny. He adopted the grumpy persona of someone who would really rather be somewhere else, which he attributed to worrying that, surrounded by four professional comedians, he would have nothing worthwhile to chip in. He did occasionally depart from the script, however, often bringing the house down with an ad-lib. He was credited by the regular panellists as being the chief reason for the show's longevity. The chairman's script is written by Iain Pattinson, who has worked on the show since 1992.
Last week, I attended a recording in Cambridge of two shows of I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, where I was struck by what a neat fit Jack Dee is as anchor. His dexterity with material that requires a measure of toxic disdain has already been proved in his solo stints on two series of the programme. But it was encouraging to see up close how he marshals the team members – Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke Taylor and, on this occasion, David Mitchell – and chides them gently like a PE master. Behind the audience's easy laughter, I detected authentic relief that the show hadn't gone to pot. After all, ISIHAC underwent an initially fraught probationary period in which three different hosts (Dee, Rob Brydon, Stephen Fry) were auditioned publicly after the death in 2008 of Humphrey Lyttleton.
PanellistsThe regular panellists for much of the show's history were:
Graeme Garden was a member of the I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again team that the programme grew out of and has been a panellist since its first episode. Lyttelton describes him as being very dry, biding his time before stepping in with a perfect punchline.
Barry Cryer hosted six episodes in the show's first series before moving into a permanent seat on the panel. He is credited by the chairman as being the show's "bricks and mortar", providing quickfire one-liners in any situation. There is a running joke in the programme that he is a dirty old man with a drink problem.
Tim Brooke-Taylor was also part of the I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again team and has also been with the show since the start. He is very popular with the crowd and adopts a vulnerable persona. Garden and Brooke-Taylor had previously worked together on television in The Goodies, and Brooke-Taylor in particular will occasionally drop references to that show into some of the games, eliciting cheers from the audience. He was absent for some episodes of the 50th series (broadcast in November and December 2007) and replaced by other guests. Willie Rushton was one of the regular panel members from 1974 until his death in 1996. The other panellists have fond memories of his off-the-wall sense of humour and quick-fire puns.
Guest panellists have appeared on the show when one of the regulars was unavailable and also replacing Willie Rushton after his death in 1996.
Musical accompaniment
Colin Sell usually provides musical accompaniment to some of the games. He is often the butt of jokes making fun of his piano-playing, which he takes in good part — he is unable to respond, as he has pointed out, due to the fact that he does not have his own microphone. For example:
"When music experts hear Colin's compositions, they say he could have been another Berlin, Porter, or anybody else employed by the German State Railway."Or
"We've just heard some great news — I'm very pleased to announce that the BBC have arranged a special collection of Colin's entire work... they've bagged it up and the council are sending some men round for it on Tuesday." Or
"When I tell people I work with Colin Sell, they often ask me "how is the maestro?". Well, Colin tells me that it's failed its MOT again, but should be back on the road by next Tuesday"
Guest pianist, when Colin Sell has been double-booked and the ISIHAC team have "won the coin toss", has been former Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band member and Monty Python collaborator Neil Innes, or occasionally Denis King or Matthew Scott. Humph's band also appeared on one special occasion. Once when Innes was guesting Lyttelton outlined the musician's career, before concluding that this "has brought him to where he is today: standing in for Colin Sell." Innes then played the funeral march. On another appearance, Innes sang along to his own composition "I'm the Urban Spaceman" during a round of "Pick Up Song".
Early episodes featured Dave Lee on piano.The theme music is called "The Schickel Shamble", by Ron Goodwin, and is from the film Monte Carlo or Bust. It was chosen by David Hatch.
Commentary
The late Raymond Baxter was occasionally drafted to commentate on sessions of Mornington Crescent.
Scorers
Since 18 May 1985, the show's routines have included a fictional and completely silent scorer, "whose job is eased by the fact no points are actually awarded". This role is usually filled by "the lovely Samantha" — who likes to sit on Humph's left hand. When Samantha has been unavailable her role has been filled by the Swedish stand-in scorer, Sven, or occasionally another substitute, Monica. In one episode in November 1991, both Samantha and Sven were present, but they were occupied with each other during the performance and were thus unable to award any points.
At the recording on 22 November 1990 (the day Margaret Thatcher resigned), Humph introduced the scorer in the following way:
"Well, it's been a momentous week or so, and naturally we're all saddened by the loss of a woman who has served faithfully for over a decade, and who for many years had benefited from massive support. Yes, I'm sorry to say that Samantha, our scorer, can't be with us tonight due to a freak riding accident!"
The replacement scorer for that edition was "the lovely Margaret". This programme (first broadcast on 1 December 1990) included "Late Arrivals at the Conservative Party Ball". During the show, it was alleged that the scorer was good at removing "Conservative Party Balls".
At the start of the programme, and when introducing appropriate rounds, Humph will tell the listeners what Samantha has recently been doing. These comments have made the show notable for including far more and far ruder innuendo and double entendre than the BBC would ever broadcast on television in a similar early evening timeslot, though the show's standard response to this is that any humour exists solely in the mind of the listener. Early in Samantha's career on ISIHAC, when it was not completely clear whether or not she was a fictional character, a letter appeared in the BBC's Radio Times magazine protesting at the sexist and humiliating treatment she received on the programme.For example:
"Samantha's going out now for an ice cream with her new Italian gentleman friend. She says she's looking forward to licking the nuts off a large Neapolitan."
And (November 2006):
"She's popped out to visit an old gentleman friend of hers who's a notorious curmudgeon. However, she finds that if she butters him up properly she can sometimes get him to splash out."
Another shows the extent to which the BBC allows these observations of Samantha's activities:
"In her spare time, Samantha likes nothing more than to peruse old record shops. She particularly enjoys a rewarding poke in the country section."
In a programme from 1997, Humph says: "It's just occurred to me that Samantha hasn't given us the score... since 1981."
Correspondence
A regular feature on the programme, always preceding the game Mornington Crescent is the fictional letters section, invariably containing one letter. This usually begins with Humph sarcastically hyping the number of letters (for example, "I notice from the sheer weight of this week's postbag, we've received a little over no letters" and "I see from the number of letters raining down on us this week that the Scrabble factory has exploded again"). The letter each week is from a "Mrs Trellis of North Wales", an idiosyncratic and prolific correspondent to the chairman. Her incoherent letters usually involve her mistaking Humph for another Radio 4 presenter or media personality, and are read out to much amusement.
"A Mrs Trellis of North Wales has written in to complain that the show has 'an enormous fistful of rampant innuendo rammed into every crack', but only a truly filthy-minded person would think such a thing."
"Dear Mr Titchmarsh: This morning I went out to dig up some dandelions and a giant hogweed on my lawn. The filthy beast! Yours faithfully, Mrs Trellis."
"Dear Mrs McCartney: My, what a terrible mess. You must be kicking yourself."
"Dear Mr Melly: Here's a great tip for removing any annoying little hairs that collect in the bath plughole: tempt them up with a carrot and pull them out by their long floppy ears."
"Dear Rolf: They say a dog isn't just for Christmas. How true. You can use it for sandwiches all through January."
